Thanks for your comment, Bud. The guilt bereaved parents feel is something that many of us hide from our friends and families because it’s difficult for people who haven’t lost a child to understand why we feel this way. Do I think she would want me to feel guilty? No, but that doesn’t magically make the guilt go away. I watched her suffer. I watched her die slowly. I watched her struggle to breathe for days. She died two days before spring. She died without feeling the warmth of the sun on her face one last time. So, yeah, I feel guilty — I’m writing about it and trying to be honest about it and for now that’s the best I can do.