Thank you for your comment, Hailyn. Using the word “addiction” in connection to grief or pain is an interesting choice. I”m not addicted to my pain, though I’m not sure how to explain my journey to someone who hasn’t lost a child — even though I keep writing essay after essay to try. The pain of losing Ana is so big because the love is so big. Would you also suggest that I try not to get addicted to my love? I hope not. What I’m trying to do is learn how to live with the pain and normalizing my grief by connecting with the only community in the world who understands that is one way I’m doing it.