I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Eilidh. I’m glad you found me on Medium. It’s been over two years since I lost my daughter, Ana, and while the grief hasn’t lessened, it’s changed. It’s…softer. There were other bereaved parents to help me along the way — we were (and are) each other’s lightkeepers. Please consider me a lightkeeper. I am holding my hand out to you. You are not alone in this new place of grief. I recommend a book that helped me tremendously in the early weeks and months after I lost Ana— “The Spiritual Lives of Bereaved Parents” by Dr. Dennis Klass. Sending you much love.