Advice for Ana

No one cares what I have to say.
If I ask my friends,
they just shower me with phony compliments.

Three weeks since you left us…
You are so very loved.

I felt left out.
I felt like there was something I was missing.
Is a clique really necessary?

We need other people.

I stare at myself in the mirror.
What’s wrong with me?

You were extra hard on yourself.

I’m practically trembling with hatred.
I don’t get why it’s so hard.

Oh, sweetie, where do I even begin?
you were beautiful, always.

If all goes well, we’ll both be buzzed.

You were smarter than me and this proves it.

I am sad all the time, actually.
It’s always there.
I wish I could just be high all summer long.

I think sometimes we have to feel sad.

I think it’s useless to fret over a mere idea
when you could just accept your reality.

I feel so cheated out of the friendship we could’ve had
and all the things you would’ve taught me.

If this summer changed me at all,
it changed me for the better.

It was your last summer.
So much has changed since you died.

I’m not just going to live the rest of my life
moping about how I’m going to die so soon.
If I do that, I may as well be dead already.